This has been a rollercoaster year for me. Not because that much has happened, but maybe because nothing really has and it has made me frustrated. At times, I have felt like I have lost my motivation, no matter what I have needed it for. Be it pole dancing, work, writing or just seeing my friends, I have at times felt like giving up.
So yes, 2010 has been a bumpy ride. But there are a few high notes that I would like to acknowledge:
- The wonderful person that I share my life with every day – M. He truly is the light of my life. He inspires me, makes me laugh until I can’t breathe, surprises me, comforts me and loves me, the way I have always wanted to be loved.
- My beloved rats, Panic, Smokey and Devil (and Pain, who unfortunately died). They are the silver lining behind every storm cloud. They are loving, fun and loyal.
- Friends. In my life, I have had to cut a lot of friendships short, when people have finally shown their true faces. In 2010, I gained a bunch of new friends that now hold a given place in my life and have brought back my faith in people.
- My hobbies. Pole dance is a major part of my life (when I am not in the middle of one of those low-periods of course) and I am so thankful that it has brought dance back into my life. I am also thrilled to finally be on YouTube, playing around with makeup getting to know other people who share this passion.
- My looks. For me, the way I look is so important to how I feel. It is in direct line with my personality and I feel terrible when I am denied the right to look the way I want to look. In 2010, I continued my never ending journey towards looking like ME. I got two more tattoos, did some crazy shit to my hair (shaved it off, let it grow back, colored it, re-colored it and gave it dread extensions). And I continuously improved my closet.
- My goals. Even though I struggled this year, I have to say that I made progress in finding out what it really is I want to do with the short time that I have been given on this Earth. No big decisions were made, but I am now more aware of where I might land once I decide to act.
As for 2011, well I can only hope that it will bring back all the inspiration and motivation that I spent most of 2010 desperately seeking. And that myself and all the people I care about are given the opportunity to live the lives we have always wanted. And that we do it in good health.
Happy New Year!
